The Modern Mazoku's Parenting Guide: Monsters
by irk
Summary: If you thought Xelloss was difficult now, wait till you see what Zelas had to deal with when the little trickster was a kid!


I wrote this quite a long time ago back in...hell, 1999? It was a very early fanfic endeavor and I wasn't nearly as knowledgeable about Slayers then as I am now. But still I love it - it's definitely not my best writing, and it's not exactly regular canon stuff, but is it ever cute! I've actually considered making more installments in the same general universe just because of the happy cuteness.  
  
Anyways, just saying all of this to let you know that any stupid mistakes in it are because I was minimally more moronic then than I am now.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
The clink of glasses tapping against one another vibrated through the air. There was a sloshing, a gulp, and a satisfied sigh. With brandy-flavored lips, Zelas Metallium smiled back on the events of the day as she propped up her legs on a nearby stool.  
  
It had been very trying, today. Xelloss was always a troublesome mazoku, but on this particular day he seemed to be meddling in everything. With Xelloss' antics forestalling any actual work, Zelas hadn't found the time to get anything done.   
  
But you had to accept a little trouble with small children like Xelloss. Besides, who needed work?   
  
Zelas sighed and took another gulp from her glass, thanking L-Sama for little graces, like early bedtimes for young children. She set her glass down on the counter and brushed a wild strand of blonde hair away from her eyes.   
  
Then a telltale purple head peeked into the doorway and meekly shuffled its feet.   
  
Zelas frowned. "Xelloss? It's past your bedtime. I put you to bed an hour ago." Zelas raised a maternal eyebrow. "Do you need a drink of water?"   
  
The vertically challenged Xelloss shook his head.   
  
"I already read you a story." Zelas' fingers twitched for the cigarettes that she'd sworn off since Xelloss had been a part of everyday life.   
  
"...Don't need a story." Xelloss' eyes were downcast. He traced a pattern on the stone floor with his bare toes and sniffled a little.   
  
Zelas was concerned now. This wasn't her Xelloss' usual behavior. Something was seriously wrong. She walked over to the little mazoku and bent down to his eye level. "What's wrong, Xelloss-chan?"   
  
Xelloss sniffled again, trembling with fear, tears collecting in the corners of his wide, frightened eyes.   
  
"Th-there's a MONSTER under my bed!"   
  
* * *   
  
Zelas mentally fumed on the way to Xelloss' bedroom, legs stalking through the corridor in fast, long strides. The cheek of some lower forms of mazoku! It was probably one of Dynast's again, lurking around the castle as if they had any right to be in her domain. And in her most prized underling's bedroom? Dynast would have an earful from her as soon as the day dawned.   
  
Xelloss certainly felt a lot safer in the Greater Beast's arms. Mommy would make it all better.   
  
Whatever was under Xelloss' bed, Zelas swore to give it a sound punishment. She needed to set a good example for the young, after all. Perhaps she'd flay the little floor-dwelling pest. That would be very educational...as well as satisfying. "It was under your bed when you left, Xelloss-chan?"   
  
Xelloss nodded. Mommy would make the monster pay.   
  
Zelas grinned, stopping before the door. She set Xelloss down, the little mazoku clinging to her skirts behind her. Beastmaster smiled and grasped the handle, readying her animal reflexes and preparing an entertaining lesson for her beloved little Xelloss. "All right! Prepare to feel the claws of Zelas Metallium, Greater Beast!" She flung open the door, grinning mouth lined with fangs.   
  
* * *  
  
Xelloss was still sniffling. He clung to the doorframe, refusing to go into the room until Mommy found the monster.   
  
Zelas checked once more under the bed, perfect nightvision finding, again, nothing except a horrendous pile of dust-covered toys. This was one clever little whelp. "You're sure it was the bed?"   
  
Xelloss nodded. "It was under there when I woke up."   
  
Zelas glanced around the room. "Hmm..."   
  
* * *  
  
After three cursory checks and five thorough searches, Zelas, Greater Beast, had learned quite a bit about the large mass of toys that Xelloss had accumulated in all sorts of unexpected places. She had not, however, discovered the increasingly elusive monster.   
  
Xelloss sat on the bed, having finally been convinced that Mommy would protect him from the room's unseen occupant. He was alert for anything that might suddenly appear should she miss it.   
  
Zelas stood up, sweeping her hands through her hair, stretching out muscles worn out from hunching into places in which no adult was really built to explore. Her back popped three successive times. Zelas felt like a smoke.   
  
There was absolutely no sign of anything lurking in Xelloss' room besides what Zelas now considered to be a truly ungodly horde of toys.   
  
"Xelloss-chan, I think it's gone." She sighed and sat on the bed, her young servant curling into her lap. "Do you think you'll be okay for the night?" She stroked the purple mass of hair. "Can you sleep?"   
  
"..." Xelloss murmured something incoherent.   
  
Zelas blinked. "Xelloss-chan?"   
  
"Zzzzz...."   
  
"Oh. I guess you'll be alright then." Zelas walked out of the room after blowing out the lamp, her young servant tucked in for the night.   
  
* * *  
  
Dynast didn't know what Zelas had been talking about. After an hour of angered screaming, the Greater Beast left Dynast's domian feeling just a little bit better. Some hunting would get this energy out of her system. Xelloss was happy enough playing with the wolves today, so she didn't have to worry about looking after him.   
  
After a good long hunt, Zelas returned to bring Xelloss home. Xelloss had pouted but eventually agreed to leave, much to the relief of the wolves.   
  
Xelloss' bedtime routine proceeded as usual. Zelas decided to turn in early. It had been a taxing day. Sleep was good.   
  
Black satin covers, plush pillows, furlined blankets, the smell of feathers and claws...   
  
"...Mommy?"   
  
* * *  
  
Zelas had been told that while the early years of child-rearing were the hardest and most frustrating, they also contained the fondest, most prized memories.   
  
She wondered if she would remember this later on.   
  
"...it was under the bed! I SAW it!"   
  
She sincerely hoped not.   
  
* * *  
  
"...So, this whole bed-monster thing is a widespread problem?"   
  
Hellmaster Fibrizo nodded his head while inspecting a teddy bear. As Zelas looked on, he gleefully proceeded to rip its head off.   
  
Zelas thanked her Golden Lord that Xelloss was so well-behaved. "So what do *you* do about them?"   
  
* * *  
  
Xelloss was terrified. Three days in a row the monster had lurked under his bed. For three nights he'd been too scared to step onto the floor, or to fall asleep. Zelas-sama couldn't find it no matter how hard she looked. It had happened for two nights now, and now...now...   
  
It was there AGAIN, lurking, waiting for the moment when Xelloss dropped off to come up and snatch him away!   
  
Xelloss set his chin on his knees, tears coming to his eyes.   
  
Zelas-sama could stop it, he was SURE she could find it tonight. But Zelas-sama didn't believe him anymore.   
  
There was a scuffle outside the door. Xelloss slowly turned his head. The knob creaked, and then...   
  
The door slammed open.   
  
Beastmaster Zelas Metallium stood in the doorway, poised for battle. "All right! Now go under that bed and TEAR THAT MONSTER APART!"   
  
Zelas' entire wolf pack darted into the room, beseiging the underworld of Xelloss' bed as the little mazoku bounced on the mattress, cheering them on.   
  
* * *   
  
"So next time a monster comes, you just call me, Xelloss-chan." Zelas stroked her servant's hair as she tucked him in. "The wolf pack'll eat him all up!"   
  
Xelloss smiled as he curled up under the blankets. "Thank you, Mommy."   
  
Zelas smiled. There was something to what she'd been told about memories. She'd miss moments like this. "You're welcome, Xelloss-chan. Now go to sleep."   
  



End file.
